An LDS perspective on moving from childless to childfree living.

Monday, August 22, 2016

New School, Same Old Question

I spent from May 2015 to April 2016 working on a campaign for president of my union, only to lose 47-53%.  After applying for a couple of district level jobs, I accepted a transfer to a different elementary school teaching sixth grade.  I know the principal, secretary, and two teachers at this school.

I know I needed a change, but this has been harder than I expected.  We had three days of training last week.  I quietly pointed out a spelling error on a handout to the person who presented that section (which I would have wanted from someone if that had been me), and she sent me a lengthy email that she was offended.  Then, every time I sat by someone new I was asked, "So how many kids do you have?"  This transition has been hard, because I don't know these people, and they don't know me. 

The first time I was asked, I explained that we didn't have children and some of what we went through.  The second time, I just said we were never able to have any.  The third time, I said I hadn't seen my class list yet, so I didn't know.  The follow up question then was, "No, your own children." I responded with, "None."

I really just needed to get this frustration down in writing.  Nothing can be done.  I know relationships are important in all areas of life. I just didn't think that I would have to answer that same old question so many times in three days.


  1. Oh, I love love LOVE your response to the third time you were asked the question. It's always tough - even now, even though I know I'm not too bothered, I still brace myself as I answer, "None."

    1. Mali - thanks for the reinforcement of my last response. I keep hoping it will get easier and more comfortable over to time just answer, "None." Not there yet.

  2. I know. That's why I dread meeting new people - because there is always a question: "How many children you have?". Why can't people at least ask "Do you have any children?".
    For me, it is so easier to reply "No" then "None".

    kind regards from Slovenia,

    1. Klara - I totally agree. It is easier to answer the "Do you have children?" question. If I feel up to it, I have tried to educate people who assume everyone has children and asks "How many?" instead. I wasn't up to it last week.

  3. Ugh. :p This was one reason why I dreaded moving to a new community. We haven't met a whole lot of new people, though, aside from a few of our condo neighbours -- and surprisingly, none of them have asked us (yet) -- even though they are happy to talk about their own kids & grandkids. ;)

    I still hate having to answer "None." (I know, I DO have one, i.e., our stillborn daughter -- but that's a complicated story I don't like to get into with strangers...!)

    Hope things get easier over the next few weeks!