An LDS perspective on moving from childless to childfree living.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Still Bothered

So I was reading the LDS Ensign magazine that comes out monthly.  I usually like reading the uplifting articles about Jesus Christ, about LDS church members in other areas of the world, or about other member experiences.  This month there was an article titled "Challenges, Miracles, and Testimonies", which is about a man who had cancer, he and has wife had a son already, and they miraculously had twin girls about three years after his last TX. 

He writes, "Yes, we experienced difficult challenges, but we’ve also experienced miraculous blessings. We feel we would be ungrateful if we did not share our testimonies that living the gospel helps us deal with our challenges. We know that all stories do not unfold like ours did. Nevertheless, we all can be blessed to know God’s plan for our lives through the confirming witness of the Holy Ghost. Our testimonies are founded on truth, not whether miracles follow." 

I know we experienced miracles.  DH is alive and well, he survived septic shock, his doctor didn't give him the last scheduled chemo TX when she knew he was too weak to handle it, we have a happy life together, but I am still bothered that some who had similar trials end up with a miracle baby or more.  At Christmas, we received a card from a family where the husband had a BMT about a week before DH.  They had two kids at the time.  Now 11 years later, surprise, they have another baby.

DH brought this up again yesterday, as it was our 19th anniversary.  We were talking about all the life we had been through, and he said, "But I still couldn't give you a baby."  Living CF does get easier with time, but sometimes, I'm still bothered.

On a side note, our anniversary was very nice.  We went to church, spent time talking, and went to dinner at a very nice restaurant in Salt Lake called the Grand American Garden Cafe.