Last Sunday I was on a plane on the way home from a conference. I attended with several others who serve on a state board with me. I have only been on the board since August. I was across the aisle from someone I know from the board, but he lives about three hours away, so our only contact has been monthly board meetings. He is passionate about education, as am I, and we had a lot to talk about.
Then he said, "So, how many kids do you have?"
My reply was, "We were unable to have children."
He responded that he was sorry to hear that and talked about how his sister had faced infertility and had eventually adopted two sisters from Korea. I gently said, "A better question is 'Do you have children?' because it does not assume everyone does." He apologized again and thanked me for the suggestion.
I did have tears in my eyes as I shared a little bit about our IF journey. He is also a member of the LDS Church and could understand my struggles with going to church. We are approaching two years since we closed our adoption file, and we have been working to live a childfree life with joy.
I was able to choose my response, as Mali points out so well.
While this question is not easy, I am getting better at answering it, for which I am grateful.