An LDS perspective on moving from childless to childfree living.

Monday, February 16, 2015

"Baby Curse"

Yes.  A girl giving a talk in Sacrament meeting yesterday, someone who had faced infertility, actually used the phrase "baby curse." 

As is common in many LDS Wards, people who are new are asked to speak and usually share a bit about themselves at the beginning.  This girl (I call her that, because, based on what she said, she is probably no older than 30) talked about how they had been married a few years, and she had a couple of miscarriages.  In their previous Ward, the Primary presidency had a "baby curse" that anyone who served in the Primary presidency got pregnant.  She was called into the Primary presidency and told the Bishop she wanted the "baby curse".  A month after she was called, she became pregnant with her first child, and they have since had a second.

After this, she went on to talk about her sister who recently had a bone marrow transplant was visited by an apostle and given a blessing by him.  My DH was so angry.  Not that this didn't happen to him when he had his transplant, but about how smug she was.  How she portrayed herself as so righteous as to have these things happen to her.  How life works out when you follow the commandments. 

What have we been doing for years?  We have been active and faithful.  If I had known all I had to do was serve in Primary, I would have volunteered to do that years ago. 

While I understand that she is new and doesn't know the circumstances of people in the Ward, I can't believe someone who had trouble with infertility would act so blatantly unaware of what others may be experiencing.  Not just us, but the numerous single sisters in our Ward. 

After the meeting, my friend from high school who knows all of our history came up and gave me a hug.  She said that throughout this girl's talk she kept thinking, "Just stop talking."  I am grateful to have this friend at church who is aware of me and sensitive to our situation.

DH and I talked afterward.  We both wanted to leave, but I was playing the organ.