An LDS perspective on moving from childless to childfree living.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Conversations with Family

My brother and his wife were in town last weekend, because my SIL qualified for the Xterra National Off-road Triathalon.  It was great to see them and spend time with them.  They haven't come to Utah for a couple of years, and we haven't been to Ohio, because it doesn't seem like a destination.

My sister pulled my brother and I aside to talk to us.  Conversations about any topic always come back to her.  When she started to complain about how hard her life is and how she can't do the things she wants, I said, "Everyone has their own struggles.  They are just different.  No one's struggles are any worse than anyone else's."  She didn't like that much and went off about how I wouldn't talk to her, because she didn't know what to say when we were TTC and trying to adopt.  My brother defended me by saying that no one could understand what I was going through unless they had been through it themselves.  I appreciated that.

I called my mom today to see what they did the last day they were here, since I had to work.  That was all fine, then my mom started talking about some of her friends, their health problems (my mom is 70), and how grateful she is for her situation.  She told me about one of her friends from high school who is raising her 1, 5, and 8 year old grandchildren, because the dad is in jail and her daughter is on drugs.  I listened about the struggle to raise these young children at age 70.  I wanted to say, "Why didn't the daughter place the children for adoption?"  I understand that would be difficult and the grandparents still want a relationship with the children.  While we are done trying to become parents, I know there are people out there aching for that opportunity.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

To go to a Baby Shower?

My youngest cousin, who is 27 and married last September, is PG and the baby shower is next Saturday.  I am debating about going.  I have only been to one baby shower in the last 7 years.  It was a coworker and the shower was at lunch, a drop-in, open house style.  I gave money to another coworker who bought the gift.  I only had to stop in, pick up some food, greet everyone, and leave.

This new invitation is for my youngest cousin.  Her three other sisters have children.  I went to baby showers for the oldest two, but we were in the midst of IF TX when the third one had her shower.  I just couldn't go.  I'm not sure if I can handle this yet.  My mom offered to buy a gift and said she understood if I didn't want to go.  I truly appreciate that.  I'm leaning toward not going.

DH and I have actually been talking a bit about our CF life lately.  Things people have said recently are bugging him.  Our neighbor said something to him like, "Well, since you decided not to have kids . . ."  DH was mad!  He said, "How dare he make that assumption."  He was also very bothered with a recent news story of a baby found in a dumpster.  He doesn't say much, so we have talked about these incidents that have happened recently. 

Anyway, that's what is happening in my CF world right now.