An LDS perspective on moving from childless to childfree living.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Family Pictures

Back in 2005, I was working on writing my grandparents' history and organized an extended family picture.  The studio we used was great!  They did all the separate smaller groups:  my grandparents, my cousins with their spouses and kids, my brother with his wife and kids, my mom with her children and grandchildren, DH and me, etc. That was the last time DH and I had a professional picture taken.  We didn't have pictures taken in those 9 years, because I thought we would have them done when we added a baby to our family.

Last year when we closed our adoption file, I wanted to have a picture of us done to signify our moving onto CF living.  DH wasn't interested.  I finally convinced him to have pictures taken, which we did on Tuesday at a different studio.  It was awkward.  The photographer kept posing us like we were having engagement pictures taken.  Some poses were just too cheesy that we told him we didn't want to pose that way.  It is like the photographer didn't know what to do with a middle-aged couple who came for pictures without children. 

We picked out three poses that were nice, two were close ups, to have printed.  We will give them to our moms for Christmas and keep the other for us.  It will be good to have a more current picture on display, but it was not a great photography experience. 

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Our Agency Closes

We closed our adoption file over a year ago now, but the adoption services part of LDS Family Services will no longer match birth parents with adoptive parents.  This was in the news here yesterday.

The news article states, "LDS Family Services, however, was set up on a different model, she said. "It was designed toward the 16-year-old who got in trouble and went to her [Mormon] bishop," Pope said. "That doesn’t happen anymore. They don’t place. They parent."  Maybe this philosophy, that was not disclosed to us as hopeful adoptive parents, is part of the reason we were never chosen.  I know they tried to adapt over the years to the changing demographic of birth parents. 

When DH's aunt and uncle adopted through LDS Family Services over 50 years ago, they were put on a list, and when their name came to the top, they received the next baby to fit their criteria.  Adoptions were closed.  It was not birth parent choice.  We know this wasn't the best way to handle adoptions either. 

With over 600 waiting couples and between 200-300 adoptions per year, the article states that many couples have waited more than three years.  We were on the list for four years and NEVER had contact with a birth mom that came through them.  Maybe it is best that LDS Family Services does not handle adoptions any more.  I try not to be bitter, but we really didn't have a good experience.