An LDS perspective on moving from childless to childfree living.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Giving Thanks

There are so many things to be thankful for right now.  As I have been recovering from ACL reconstruction surgery, I have had a lot of time to think about what I am thankful for.

10 Things I am Thankful for in 2013:
1.  A healthy, caring DH who is now 10 years post leukemia and has been a great nurse as I recover from surgery.
2.  Our beautiful dream home that we designed and built.
3.  My job teaching sixth grade still gives me joy seeing students learn and grow.
4.  My job as the local education association president which gives me opportunities to learn, grow, travel, and meet new people.
5.  My musical talents (playing piano and organ), which I was so scared to lose when I awoke from surgery to my right arm being completely numb.
6.  A nice, adult Thanksgiving dinner prepared by my DH and shared with my mom and uncle.
7.  Great friends who have called, visited, brought flowers, taken me to dinner, and showed concern for me.
8.  Technology that has allowed me to stay informed on what is happening with both jobs as well as help me to do some Christmas shopping from my home.
9.  Good doctors and physical therapists who are helping me recover and return to my full life.
10.  Temple blessings of being sealed to my DH for all eternity.

What are you thankful for?

Thursday, November 14, 2013

"Pity those who live without love"

I am a huge Harry Potter fan!  I re-read books 1-6 over the summer.  I have been working on "Deathly Hallows" since school started, but I haven't had much time to read. 

On Monday, I had ACL reconstruction surgery on my right knee, so I have had some time to finish "Deathly Hallows."  A line I had forgotten comes when Harry has gone to Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest and then goes to the next life where he talks to the deceased Dumbledore.  At this time, Dumbledore says, "Do not pity the dead, Harry.  Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love."  This caused me to think about life on a couple of different levels.  I like how J.K. Rowling approached the topic of life after death.  Members of the LDS church believe in an afterlife.  I remember death being a concern for DH as he was battling leukemia.  While we don't know exactly what life after death will be like, I appreciate the treatment of the topic in "Deathly Hallows". 

The other part that hit me was about pitying those who live without love.  It is often when we experience difficulties that we find out how much we are loved.  While going through IF, and even the adoption process, we were pretty quiet about how difficult it was.  We didn't approach it as you would approach surgery to repair a torn ACL.  Very few people knew what we were going through.  It was a secret.  This prevented others from showing love to us through the very difficult seven years of TX and trying to adopt. 

So many people showed us love when DH had leukemia.  While ACL repair is not in the same ballpark as leukemia, several people have been able to share their love with me.  DH has been amazing!  He assists me with bathing, dressing, getting around the house, meals, medications, etc.  Serving me, DH has shown me his love.  Several friends have called and sent emails.  My mom and sister, both of whom have had their own surgeries in the last two months, have come to visit, and the ladies I work with sent flowers and said they miss me.

While some people may say that the love of your own children cannot be surpassed, I am grateful to have the love of a wonderful DH!  So many people do not have a strong, loving relationship with their spouse.  DH is my blessing of living with love.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Primary Program

Every fall, the children ages 3-11 present a program during Sacrament meeting of what they have learned throughout the year.  Each child has a speaking part and the group sings several songs.  DH and I have not gone to church for the Primary Program for several years.  We were there this year.  It was not easy to see these cute little kids stand up to the microphone and state something they have learned.  My heart longed to watch my own child do this, the child I will not have.  The looks on the faces of the parents and grandparents, so proud, is a feeling I wish to have.

The bishop stopped me afterward and said he recognized how difficult it was for us to be at church for the program.  He complimented us for being there.  He is aware of our situation and has been quite supportive. 

This is another one of those events that happens each year at Church that will be a reminder for the rest of our lives that we are not parents.  I hope it will become easier over time.