After we were not approved to adopt and my former student chose another family, we went back to IUIs. We had two months where I did not respond well and did our final IUI in January 2009. We used the last four vials of DH's frozen sperm. I had two great follicles and my estrodiol level was excellent! It was, of course, a BFN.
At this point our discussions about children changed. We knew we would not have a child who was biologically related to us. We talked about using donor sperm; however, that is discouraged by the LDS Church. "21.4.3 - Artificial Insemination - The Church strongly discourages artificial insemination using semen from anyone but the husband. However, this is a personal matter that ultimately must be left to the judgment of the husband and wife. Responsibility for the decision rests solely upon them." DH did not want a child who was biologically related to me but not to him. He preferred having a child who was not biologically related to either of us.
So, we went back to adoption. We felt this was the only way we were going to become parents. We reopened our adoption file with our same SW. He asked what had changed over the previous year. We explained we had used our resources and knew we could not have biological children, and DH was now five years post BMT, so his health should not be in question any longer.
We were approved to adopt through LDS Family Services on May 5, 2009!