After the leukemia and necessary chemo and radiation, we knew we were going to require assistance to have a baby. The 11 vials of frozen sperm were being stored at the University of Utah, so we found an RE there and scheduled an appointment. I was 36. The doctor did not speak English very well. I know he was trying to explain our options, but neither of us understood him. We decided to start with IUI with one vial of sperm thawed. I was given clomid and used an OPK to determine when I was ovulating and scheduled the IUI appointment.
We were disappointed that the sperm did not survive well. There ware about 3 million. We went ahead, because the sperm from that one vial were thawed, and we did not want to waste them. I felt great! Over the course of the next two weeks, my breasts grew big and tender, and I was a little queasy. I was convinced I was PG. At the end of the 2WW, the PG test was negative. How could that be? I was so naïve to think that I would become PG on the first attempt.
The next month was similar, only this time we had two vials of sperm thawed, thinking that if there were more sperm, a PG would be more likely. It was worse! Out of those two vials, there were less than 1 million sperm. I never thought I was PG during this 2WW, and the PG test confirmed that.
What was wrong? I am very type-A and driven. I have been able to achieve anything I have set my mind to with hard work and perseverance. Like Pamela Tsigdinos wrote in Silent Sorority, “Have I mentioned that I’m not accustomed to failure? Not that I was any kind of super achiever, but I was raised to believe that hard work, perseverance and playing by the rules sooner or later paid off.”